"I Am The Sun."

You count the mistakes and grave at my grips, forgetting that I make the universe; you will always not see my best eclipse.

It makes me sad sometimes to feel you afar. On those days I call the clouds and darken the star.

I burn day and night since the galaxy needs me to; I crave for love and faith which brings me closer to you.

I might be sin, but not a Satan.
I might be good, but not a God.

I break, I build.
I mistake, I guilt.
I say, I silent.
I calm, I violent.

I good, I bad.
I sane, I mad.
I shade, I bling.
I pawn, I king.

For all I am, I am into one.
You get the whole, a part of it or you get none. It’s your choice not mine to make.
Make it wise ‘cause to see you burn my heart will ache.

But tonight I will shine, for my light is bright. I am the sun at its glorious might.

Accept my worse or brutally disown. I will light your universe for reasons unknown.

Don't hate me to heart if in your dark I seem distant and bleak;
I am still burning hard, I want you to find your own light, don't hide go seek.

Go make your Hydra, Hercules, Phoenix and Orion.
I will illuminate your luster but belong to none.

Because tonight I will make it my night and I will gleam my wrongs and right.
It may be blinding now,
but when it's over,
it’s your Orion that will shine the most bright.

The Final Adieu.

It started with the vibe. There was this uneasiness. I could feel something in my stomach (butterflies may be). I was nervous. We said good byes and he held my hand. He pulled me closer and I felt his breath. He asked slowly,"Bye?" 

I looked into his eyes and his lips touched mine. He held my waist and I grasped his hair. I closed my eyes; I felt his stare. It was slow and tender as a flowing river. He pushed me against the wall and loosened my hair. 

I kissed him back and passion took its place. We kissed long and we kissed hard. We breathed fast and wanted more. He held my face and pecked my nose. He licked my ear and bit my lobes. He whispered,"bye?"

The hunger set loose, we collapsed into one. I looked aside, he kissed my neck. I held his shirt and pulled him close. I said, "you should go" and kissed him again. He turned me back and one sided my hair, held my shoulders and I felt him on the nape. I couldn't resist and turned around. I pushed him a light and he gathered me tight.

We left our lock and gathered some breath. We looked deep in each others' eyes and could hear heart beats. We didn't know what will be. It felt complete.

We had craved our soul and got it in the end. We lost our chance; it was the final adieu. We didn't speak a word and may be silence spoke it's max.

He kissed on the forehead, again pecked my nose. His eyes were red and i cried a tear. "Good-bye darling, tonight will always be there".

Smriti.

Hey there, are you listening?

Its been long I haven't written anything for anyone. You made me do so because since I've met you there's shine in my sun.

I met you once before and then we lost contact, I met you after a long time and didn't know how to act. You seemed high maintenance, closed and filled with I don't care. I spoke to you and started to know you and things seemed pretty fair.

We changed places in a new city and struggled to find a home. We discussed our past and dreams and hopes;also why few guys didn't last. We were learning new things; new people; new place and everything together. We cribbed about  finances, the food and hot and humid Mumbai's weather.

In these eight months, you've taught me a lot. From lipstick shades to style-the collection, from fashion bloggers to the pinterest nights, from saying NO when you want to and love for shopping and from getting dressed to club hip hopping. ;)Throughout this time you've stood by my side, as strong as family. 

You give me strength, kuchis and a lot of inspiration; You accept my past, views, stupidity, football, and crazy super hero fixation. 

I cannot say I love you like my sister because I never had one. I love you like I love you; I never had someone like you before and as I said you bring shine in my sun.

With all these things, I say some more. Keep me safe for times ahead for the times before. I entrust you with my real self and promise to keep you too. I wish to keep our friendship secure on days black and blue. 

I love you. :) :*

Don't just exist, live.

Environment is uncertain. It is like when you cook something, you put in alot of efforts, yet unsure how the end result of the dish would be like. Sometimes it is tastier than what you expected and sometimes it turns out to be so bad that you think why you wasted so much time to cook that crap at the first place.

But, isn't it that every bad dish teaches you what not to do the very next time you cook.

Don't give up. Gather courage from within because the only person who is with you on those "drinking alone" nights is the person you look into the mirror.

Trust me, while writing this, I am at one of my worst nights. Still, I am writing this to assemble myself and start once again towards everything I wish to achieve.

Hope, the only concrete base on which every single human life works. Carry hope everywhere along with you. 

I am neither a philospher nor a guide.

God is not fair everytime you expect him to be. Remember, God resides within you. Be good.

Hold yourself, get a grip, make a change and believe in love, honesty and God. 

Make people laugh, it will bring a smile on your face and as I always say, conserve energy.

Just have a little faith.

Read, write and find that one thing/person, holding onto which you can live your entire life in content, it might be you yourself.

Dont just exist, live.

I write to you.

I write to you.

It’s not your presence beside me that I need,
It’s you.
It’s not your voice that I need to hear everyday,
It’s your acceptance that I feel.
It’s always the trust you carry on me and the faith I escort.
It’s the songs you told me to listen on the days I am low.

The times when I just knew you to our history we created,  you’ve inspired me.
You’ve inspired me to live, to laugh,  to sing, to dance, and most vitally, to write.

I’ve written for people, places, pilgrims, and past. There were days when I simply scribbled anything in a boring class.
There is a thing about writing- It helps you realize what you actually want.  So even on days when I had nothing specific in mind,   I ended up concluding my deepest fears and  dream fantasies.

Coming back to the topic, So all this while I wrote a lot.  I wrote to my mom, I wrote to friends who were to say goodbye forever, I wrote applications, I wrote apology letters. 
Trust me,  it was fun.
But all this while I forgot that I’ve never written to you.

You are an integral part of not just me but my list of attainments. You  are a part of the complete me.
With this piece of blog, with all the love I carry for you, with all the respect I hold for you, 

Sweetheart,  I write to you.
J